I recall the first time I let a boyfriend move in with me...
Sweet 17 and my first Significant Other!
I had a job, paid the rent, utility and food bills... self sufficient and just about scraping by with enough left over to enjoy a weekend away and enough for recreational sweeties...
Then my parter asked to move in...
He was a pretty boy, failed model, had no job, a great social life and lots of ‘Charisma’
Why not??!! I thought and opened my doors....
Big mistake!!!
He turned from Cosmopolitan man to Neanderthal man overnight!
Whatever he acquired... be it food, money, drink etc he kept for himself and maybe dropped me a crumb when he felt generous ... god forbid should you help yourself without prior agreement!!!!
A beating would follow
Should I buy or pay for anything, then use or consume it without his full knowledge and participation then..,. A verbal, emotional, physical and sometimes, sexual beating would follow...
It took him one day to move in...
One week for the colours to show; for me to realise what a monumental fuckup I had done.....
One further month of beatings before I lost my apartment, the belongings and the deposit to get away from that dreaded partner... The worst bit was moving back to my mothers ... OUCH!!!!
Now I look back.... I’m glad I just cut my losses early
Does any one else relate to this?
If so... My condolences and I hope you are not still stuck there✨

 

Fortunately, I can not relate.

My girlfriend moved into my apartment when her dad took ill and they needed the room she grew up in to take care of him. Not good circumstances to start something like that under, but that was over a decade ago and we're still happily living together. Neither of us changed how we treated each other at all, and we shared everything.

 

Does it feel weird to anyone else clicking "Like" in threads like this? Like you're saying "Your first live-in boyfriend beat you and stole your shit? Fantastic!" "Her dad died? Awesome!" I know what we're really saying is "Thanks for sharing your story" but it still feels weird calling it "Like".

 

Yeah, I had one boyfriend who was financially dependent on me and that is NEVER happening again. I can take care of myself, but they have to be self supporting too. I have no interest in cohabiting unless marriage is being considered.

 

Never let them move in.

 

I cannot fathom beating a woman, nor her taking it. A good spanking is fun tho. giving AND taking. That's how it's s'posed to be.

 

If I spent my life dreaming and aspiring as to how things are supposed to be... I’d be a wretched creature by now...
Life is ‘what it is’...
What we decide to make, of that which we control is our destiny and entirely of our own doing✨

 

You did the right thing, but don't let this run or ruin your life. When you get it right with the right person life is a truly beautiful thing. You are a very pretty girl Charisma, judging by those 5 pics in one album, I wish you the best but in the mean time google Paul Simons 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover and put a smile on your face.

 

Unfortunately I don't think most people find out whether a guy is a man or just a boy who never grew up until it's too late. Most of our ideas of what and who we want are completely fucked up when we're young and we mistake lust for love. Us guys, too.

I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm glad you made it out alive.

 

You were actually 17? Had a job, your own apartment, paid for your utilities and bought your own food? Not for nothing but you had it going on for someone who was 17. And that's something you should be proud of, honestly.

But then you fucked up. By letting your pretty boy loser boyfriend, with no fuckin job move in with you. Did you seriously think he was gonna pay for anything not having a job? But you were only 17. And I'm sorry he beat you, that wasn't your fault for that. And it really wasn't your fault for letting him move in. The big thing is, you were 17. It's a life lesson that nobody should have to go through. But you did and it made you wiser and stronger today. Never blame yourself for shit that happened then. When I was 17 all I was doing was smoking grass, jerking off and delivering groceries for a job. We all live and learn, but not as hard as you had to do.

 

You know what? It's life -

All of us, myself very much included, make choices that weren't the best and definately were mistakes. But you know what - at least you're trying. At least you tried it . Didn't work out - oh well. Don't let it dominate you.

 

I have cohabited with woman all of my adult life. At this point., I'm on my third. There's never been a yours, mine, and ours system. It's all ours.

The current wife and I lived together for about two years before we married. One day she called at work and I took the call at the receptionists desk. The receptionist was about 19 or 20 and she listened to my half of the conversation, which ended with me saying, "I love you, babydoll. Goodbye." I hand the phone back to the receptionist, who sits there with an open mouthed stare.

She says, "You're so nice to your wife." I'm wondering what kind of relationships she's had, where this registers as "so nice."

"I know a good deal when I see one," I tell her.
"What kind of deal do you have?"

"I get sex on demand, all her money, and there's a pitcher of ice tea in the refrigerator at all times." I had work to do, so that was it.
At quitting time, she finds me. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Does your wife really give you all her money?"

Sex on demand and ice tea didn't seem strange to her, but the money part was hard to believe. I explained, I also give her all my money. All the money goes into the same pot. All the bills and expenses are paid form our combined income. She thought this was very odd, but I can't imaging doing it any other way. I'm a partner, not a landlord.

 

So good that you got out early! Too many feel the need to hang around. This has never happened to me ..........other shit has, just not this type of thing!

 

Made that mistake once, took me a year to correct to get him to move out. Currently I live by myself and I like it this way, for now. I enjoy the privacy and having the option to invite anyone at anytime, male or female to come over and spend time with me and the freedom to come and go as I please.

 

It is not exactly what your example describes......but being in love and blurring the edges by saying we should share everything can leave one partner trapped if all breaks down and you want to split up!

Sorry about the beatings......it is just so low and reprehensible!

Thinskin

 

yeah my ex said that to me too what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine, then she ran all the credet cards up bought everything she wanted, while i was working to pay off the debt she put on me, then she was cheating on me and wanted a devorce so i let her go lol, but it took me 5 yrs to pay off her debt. so no marrege for me now i got burned ones lol. mu gf now has her oun place and works so it's cool now and comes over when she wants some sex or we do stuff.but yeah chrisma it happens to guys to

 

Reading all this I can’t believe how lucky I must have been to have my love for all the years we had together.

 

FREEDOM! Screamed like William Wallace!